Friday, November 7, 2014

REVIEW: THE MORBID AND SULTRY TALES OF GENEVIEVE CLARE BY J.B. HARTNETT

The Morbid and Sultry Tales of Genevieve Clare is LIVE!
Meet Genevieve and Ahren in this dark and sultry tale of love loss!


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AVAILABLE NOW:
Barnes & Noble: http://bit.ly/1tDidmS




Release Date: October 30th


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OUR REVIEW:

I first fell in love with this book because of the writer and the cover and the synopsis. We'd read and enjoyed The Leaves series, the cover for this novel is freakin' gorgeous, and the synopsis had me intrigued so when I saw that this was my next read I decided to start it at 11pm on a work night (I read until I fell asleep on my open Kindle!). I was so excited too! I had to keep reminding myself with how the cover looked (gorgeous) and the way Miss Genevieve dresses that this was indeed a modern novel. I loved how things were blurred on those lines, and how it all flowed together! I just love it!

Even if I hadn't just lost my grandmother recently, I think I would find myself identifying with these characters but because I have experienced the loss of a loved one, I was especially connected to their stories. You see, Gen and Ahren had this epic love affair that spanned decades, deaths of loved ones, and that fear of loving each other after experiencing the pain of loss. Aww Shel. Heart you. But, I agree wholeheartedly. I don't want people to think this book is entirely melancholy, especially when I goodreads updated that I cried several times. Because it isn't. But it does have a terrific grasp on these topics, and what one must do to overcome...or ya know, not...which is okay too in my opinion. These were tales of Genevieve's grieving process, and I am still surprised with the way things turned out, but I loved it greatly.

I loved Gen and her quirky ways. I loved her kindness and the observations she made about herself, her friends and family, and Ahren. I loved how she recognized her flaws and was able to move past them instead of allowing them to be her downfall. I love how much she loved Ahren. Actually now that I'm thinking about it, I don't know if there's anything I didn't love about her. Hmm. Everything you said. Damn, you got here first! BUT Let's just say that maybe her stubbornness could be one for the con-column, or maybe not, because it was definitely a huge part of who she was. But her tenderheartedness was awesome, as well as her wardrobe, and devil may care attitude. I kind of liken myself to her.

As much as I loved Gen, I loved Ahren. He was equally kind and honest and passionate. He loved her as she loved him--if not more so-- and he fought for their relationship when she couldn't. I absolutely loved how much he adored her and how well he read her (and she read him, for that matter). He was definitely the more grown up of the two surprisingly, but not in a wow-he-a-boring-hero way. He had his moments, and I swooned more than once for Ahren!

Their love affair was enough to have me hooked, but Gen's unusual job and the people she encountered were so intriguing that they made this novel that much more. I loved the care they gave Gen (and Ahren and their romance) and the sense of humor and compassion that each of the secondary characters added to atmosphere of this book. I may've had a ten minute conversation laughing my ass off telling a friend of Gen's antics and this book. It was hilarious, engaging, and such an original idea. I..just omigod, I am so glad to have read this book, and need to stop rambling...but you should really read this book!

I cannot speak highly enough of this novel. It was something different and lovely and now one of my favorite reads. Mine too! I kind of fan girled when I saw that J.B. saw my lightning fast finish of this book and comments on goodreads, but girl, if you see this. We love you. We love your book. Keep the writing coming, because we can't get enough..obviously!



Excerpt


I approached Bryce Oskin, with caution, and when I reached his side, he demanded, “Who the fuck are you?”
Charm and disarm. Charm and disarm.
“I’m Genevieve Clare, Mr. Oskin,” I said with a grin. “I believe you hired me to come to your funeral? Mind if I join you?” I brought my own bag of goodies and opened a white baker’s box from Brewster’s.
“You some kind of spooky chick?” he asked, his eyes squinting as he studied me.
If I didn’t know any better, I’d think he was… sweet on me already. “Kinda, yeah. If by spooky you mean I get paid to go to funerals, give people a nudge, and check for a heartbeat. Oh, and I live at Eden Hills. Then yeah, I’m spooky.” I grabbed a plastic fork and took a bite of amazing cake. It was always amazing, but today it seemed more amazing than usual.
“There,” I nodded toward the folder I’d set down on a little table to his side. “I just need you to sign on the dotted line. And the bag there is from Ruby. But I’m taking over the goody-bag duties, so tell me what you like and I’ll get it for you.” I licked my lips and did it seductively because I knew this was a man who appreciated a woman. Also known as a dirty old man. “Want a bite?”
“You gonna tell that Nazi Nurse Ratchet on me?” He jerked his head toward Cheryl.
“Are you gonna drop dead from half a slice of cake?” I countered.
“Nope.”
“Then I think this is the start of a beautiful friendship, Mr. Oskin. I visit once a week, unless I have a funeral, usually on Tuesday or Wednesday. I always bring cake for my clients. If there’s something you don’t like, just tell me. But I usually bring a selection.”
“You do this every week?” he asked, disbelief in his voice.
“What do you mean?”
“You eat like that every week? When you see other clients?” His eyes slid up and down the length of my body.
“I have a high metabolism.” I smiled. It really was a miracle I wasn’t as big as a house. But my sweet tooth was limited to sharing with clients. I had to give myself some sort of boundaries.
He grabbed the plastic fork I’d handed him and stabbed the slice of Meyer lemon cake with vanilla bean cream cheese frosting. His eyes closed, and when they opened, he said, “God bless you.” After a few more bites, he asked, “So, you’re gonna open up my box and poke me before they burn me, right?”
“Yes, sir, I’ll make sure you’re good and dead.”
“Spooky chick.” His tone was gruff, but his lip tipped up in the corner.
I saw it with pride. Disarmament, accomplished.
Bryce Oskin had ordered the Shake N Bake. I had permission from most of the mortuaries and crematories to open the casket and check the body. I mean, you could just tell when someone was dead. By the time I had my turn with the deceased, they were most likely already embalmed. But some of them chose not to be, or if they were, they hired me to come to their place of death and make damn sure there was no chance in hell they were coming back to life.
A while back, there was a highly publicized case in Southern California. A woman had been pronounced dead and taken to the hospital morgue. But when they opened the fridge for her to be transported to the funeral home, they saw obvious signs of a struggle. She’d been put in there alive.
Yikes.
I’d never been afraid of death, and, after my family died and the man I loved almost had, I embraced death in my own strange way. I made it my life’s work, I guess. While it took a lot to creep me out, that story gave me the heebie-jeebies something fierce. It was all over the news. Every staff member from the hospital to the morgue was investigated then sued or fired or both. And, of course, old people sitting in the common room of a rest home from the wee a.m. hours to beddy-bye time, saw that story six times in one day, minimum. I ended up receiving so many requests to make sure they weren’t breathing, I added the Shake N Bake to my website.
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Cover & Book Summary
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Blurb
My name is Genevieve Clare, professional mourner, destined to spend my days donning a black suit and throwing myself on top of caskets for money. Sometimes I mixed it up and threw myself on top of a willing warm body instead. Finding the right warm body though, that was a different story.


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10 Teaser Quotes


#1 - With Tony, it seemed to take a lot to get me going. When Ahren walked into a room, I wanted to smother him with my vagina.


#2 - "It was a work of art, beautiful, as if carved by the masterful, dirty, filthy hands that knew exactly what a girl like me would want."


#3 - "We’re all gonna die, Cookie. Death is the devil you know. The better you live, the more you piss him off, and he just hates that. Right now, you’re lettin’ him get his way.”
#4 - So when I looked at him in the truck, I saw this man I’d loved for years. This time, instead of looking at him with the eyes of a silly girl, an awkward teen, a romantic young woman, or a grieving daughter…this time, I looked at him with the eyes of a woman in love. A woman who knew her heart, finally, and I knew, in that moment, nothing would ever part us again.


#5 - Now, seeing all of him, I fell a little more in love that day because, in my mind, he’d always been perfection. But no one is perfect, not in the real world. His fragility made him so in my eyes.
About Julie...
#6 - “Little pieces,” I whispered.
“Sorry?” he asked against my hair.
“Just when I think I can’t love you more, you give me another piece to add to my heart.”


#7 - “Love it when you talk to me about cement. It makes me think about your cock,” I said against his lips.


#8 - "I love you, Gen and you love me and I hope to God you have more of these skirts because I’m about to tear that fucker right off of your body.”


#9 - “I’ll share your smile, your laughter, your generosity, and your friendship, but I won’t share your body, and I won’t share your heart.”


#10 - “I’ve decided it’s worth the risk of losing you and having you for one day, than never having you at all.”




About the Author
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Julie is a Southern California native, a fan of a really good story (preferably romance with a happily ever after), really good pie (preferably pumpkin) and copious amounts of coffee (preferably Folgers).
She has always enjoyed writing and at one time thought she could be a singer songwriter...the 'writer' part is the one that stuck.
Julie is obsessed with pi...the equation(and the food). She's allergic to cats and cantaloupe and hates mushrooms...so if you ever want to give her a gift, those are out for sure.She currently lives with her own romance hero husband and two boys in Melbourne, Australia.

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