Sunday, January 24, 2016

REVIEW: Fear of Falling by S.L. Jennings

I can’t remember the last time I felt completely safe. Security seemed more like a luxury to me, reserved for those who were fortunate enough to have picture perfect childhoods. For those who didn’t bear the ugly scars that keep me bound in constant, debilitating fear. I’ve run from that fear my entire life. But when I met him, for once, I couldn’t run anymore.

He scared the hell out of me in a way that excited every fiber of my being. It wasn’t the tattoos or the piercings. It wasn’t the warmth that seemed to radiate from his frame and blanket me whenever he was near. It was just…him. The scary beautiful man that threatened to alter 23 years of routine and rituals, and make me face my crippling fear.

My name is Kami and I am constantly afraid. And the thing that scares me the most is the very thing I want.

“Don’t worry,” he smiled, pulling me into the hard warmth of his chest. “I’ve got you. I’ll always catch you when you fall.”

And just like that, Blaine had staked his claim on the untouched part of me that no living soul had ever moved. He had captured every fear, every reservation, and crushed them in the palm of his inked hand.

Author Disclaimer: Abuse is real- verbal, emotional, physical and sexual. It takes place all around us; it doesn’t discriminate against race or gender, wealth or poverty. It affects us all- those of us who’ve had to live through it, or watch it happen, even those of us who’ve only heard about it. We are all affected. We are all forever changed.

This is not a story for the faint of heart; this is the story of one woman’s very real struggle through a world against her, the people who hurt her, her real life demons and the people who showed her that every gray sky, no matter how dark, has a sun waiting to break through.

***Inspired by true events***

ebook, 320 pages
Published July 18th 2013 (first published July 15th 2013)
Source: Purchased


I'm still pondering this novel; this story of Blaine and Kami. This story of Kami running from her past, living in fear and of Blaine trying to save someone who doesn't feel salvageable. There are things that compelled me to read it to the finding out if Blaine and Kami could get past fears and hurt and frustration to find their HEA..or getting a better of understanding of the root cause of the fear and if/how one overcomes those things...or even to get to know Angel and Dom and CJ (periphery characters) more. Some of those answers were provided by the end and some, I'm still wondering about. 

I guess where I struggle is that there were times that I wasn't as connected to this story as I wanted to be. Maybe there were times when I felt descriptions were redundant or there was more telling than showing? Maybe it was that I wanted more character development with Blaine and Angel and Dom? Maybe sometimes it either seemed a little too dramatic or too glossed over? Don't get me wrong..the story is one that needs to be told and heard. And, S.L. Jennings definitely has a writing voice that, in large parts of the text, I found myself wanting to read more of.  I know I'll definitely come back to her other works to see what she's doing...she definitely has that *something* that makes me want to explore more. Maybe this just wasn't the best book for me, but there are TONS of reviews that absolutely loved this book.

Court: I feel bad that I didn't like this one...and I know it is okay, and that the two of us shall not mesh, but gosh I hate it when this happens. I didn't connect with the characters in the beginning, and just how fast paced everything was happening. I couldn't get a feel for where the author wanted me to be, or where the characters had been. It was full throttle, and that can be a good thing, and this one didn't pull through for me. I admire what it was trying to do, and maybe it might have gotten there eventually if I had stuck with it...but unfortunately I was not in the mood at all to try. :( DNF for me. 

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